well you can't waste a boner
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
