well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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