I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
True college students do jello shots in the library
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
