Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize