Whod you bang
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
