what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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