Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
