Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
