There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
