12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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