I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
