I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
