I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
no you cant smoke seaweed
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Holy sore nipples Batman
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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