best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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