She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Randomize
