Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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