He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
