the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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