His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
