Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
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I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
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You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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