She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
