he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
