i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Randomize
