let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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