so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Mom said you looked used
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
