I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
