one might say we're banned from that church
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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