i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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