I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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