If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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