Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
