Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
