I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
