no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
