if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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