So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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