Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
