I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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