Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
