Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
