dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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