Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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