u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize