lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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