know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize