I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
