Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
