meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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