Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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