After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
