He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm too high and old for this...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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