But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
