butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
