STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
