Where did you get a picture of my penis
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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