I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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