Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
