This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just puked most of my soul out..
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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