is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
