he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
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Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
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Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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