just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
