Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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