she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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