You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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