i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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