I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
