doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
